Why is it, when some cracka is trying to prove to you he/she isn't racist, they always say something like "I don't care if someone is black, white, or purple . . ."?
When have any of us really had to worry about purple people? It's not like there are packs of purple people crossing the board from Purplico and stealing those dishwashing jobs we used to really enjoy.
Have the purple people begun producing superior consumer electronics in Purplokyo?
Are we figthing purple insurgents who are upset over our occupation of Purplistan?
I don't know. As long as we keep the purple people confined to the purpletto of South Central Los Purpeles, Purplifornia, I'm really not going to worry about it.
Besides, it's those orange and green people I really can't stand. I just don't get what our white women see in those tangerine and olive muthafuckas.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Adult Onset Illiteracy
PUT DOWN THE HARRY POTTER!
I just came across this 2-star review for the book Specials (part three of the young adult Uglies Trilogy):
Folks, just because you cried at Goblet of Flames (or whatever the last Harry Potter book was), doesn't mean every YA novel is going to resonate with your 30-year-old ass. There's a reason these books are shelved in the YOUNG ADULT section.
They are not for you, geezer!
And if you are really determined not to act your age and read a book for grown ups, at the very least don't go on Amazon and bitch about how a book designed for fourteen year olds bores you.
If you really want to criticize the Uglies Trilogy, you could talk about how each book stretches 250 pages of story across 500 pages because thanks to JK Rowling the book consumer has been conditioned to think that more pages equals better story. To that I say: Catcher in the Rye is 288 pages.
I just came across this 2-star review for the book Specials (part three of the young adult Uglies Trilogy):
It tackles an ambitious subject but doesn't translate to an adult audience.
If you are 18 or below you might enjoy it and may even be challenged by it.
An adult will find it boring and recycled from hundreds of science fiction novels.
Folks, just because you cried at Goblet of Flames (or whatever the last Harry Potter book was), doesn't mean every YA novel is going to resonate with your 30-year-old ass. There's a reason these books are shelved in the YOUNG ADULT section.
They are not for you, geezer!
And if you are really determined not to act your age and read a book for grown ups, at the very least don't go on Amazon and bitch about how a book designed for fourteen year olds bores you.
If you really want to criticize the Uglies Trilogy, you could talk about how each book stretches 250 pages of story across 500 pages because thanks to JK Rowling the book consumer has been conditioned to think that more pages equals better story. To that I say: Catcher in the Rye is 288 pages.
Monday, January 14, 2008
SUPER HETERO
This just in!
Dateline: Detroit Auto Show
The new Hummer concept car just announced is called the HX.
Way to assert your ultra-masculinity, you self-centered, planet-raping, insecure douchebags . . .
. . . by naming your latest model after Homo Xtra magazine.
Does this mean that if I ever need someone to shave my ball bag for me, I should just track down the nearest Hummer driver?
The Hummer HX: Ohmuhgod, it's sooo butch!
Dateline: Detroit Auto Show
The new Hummer concept car just announced is called the HX.
Way to assert your ultra-masculinity, you self-centered, planet-raping, insecure douchebags . . .
. . . by naming your latest model after Homo Xtra magazine.
Does this mean that if I ever need someone to shave my ball bag for me, I should just track down the nearest Hummer driver?
The Hummer HX: Ohmuhgod, it's sooo butch!
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