Christmas Music

Sloppy Seconds once proclaimed that they love lesbians more than anyone. Well, while I don't really feel passionately one way or the other about lesbians, one thing that I do love is Christmas music. More than anyone! (Maybe. It's dangerous to deal in absolutes during such unpredictable times.) And so, here is a list of 50 Christmas chestnuts that are shuffling through my iPod this holiday season. Mind you, this is not every Christmas song I have, but merely the best of the best.

In no particular order . . .

“A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn’t So)” The Flaming Lips
“2000 Miles” The Pretenders
“Christmas Tree on Fire” Holly Golightly
“Happy Christmas” John & Yoko
“Don’t Shoot Me Santa” The Killers
“Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” traditional
“Merry Fucking Christmas” South Park
“Snoopy’s Christmas” The Clumsy Lovers
“What Christmas Means to Me” Stevie Wonder
“Christmas” The Who
“Come On! Let’s Boogie to the Elf Dance” Sufjan Stevens
“Hard Candy Christmas” Dolly Parton
“Christmas Number One” The Black Arts
“Jingle Bells” Bing Crosby & the Andrews Sisters
“Christmas Time in Hell” South Park
“Step Into Christmas” Elton John
“The Christmas Song” The Raveonettes
“Father Christmas” The Kinks
“Christmas All Over Again” Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” Darlene Love
“Good King Wenceslas” Crash Test Dummies
“The Chipmunk Song” David Seville
“Feliz Navidad” Jose Feliciano
“Christmas Is Going to the Dogs” The Eels
“Donde Esta Santa Claus” Guster
“A Holly Jolly Christmas” Burl Ives
“Santa Clause Is Back in Town” Elvis Presley
“Mr. Heat Miser” Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
“Run Rudolph Run” Chuck Berry
“Christmas Wrapping” The Waitresses
“Christmas in Hollis” Run-DMC
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” Andy Williams
“(Ho! Ho! Ho!) Who’d Be a Turkey at Christmas” Elton John
“Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight)” The Ramones
“Christmas at Ground Zero” Weird Al Yankovich
“We’re a Couple of Misfits” Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Soundtrack
“Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You” Billy Squire
“Oi to the World” The Vandals
“You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch” Boris Karloff
“Merry Christmas Baby” Charles Brown
“Mele Kalikimaka” Bing Crosby
“Welcome Christmas” The Whos of Whoville
“Santa’s Beard” They Might Be Giants
“Christmas Time Is Here” Vince Guaraldi Trio
“Lonely Christmas Eve” Ben Folds
“Back Door Santa” Clarence Carter
“(Everybody’s Waitin’ For) The Man with the Bag” Kay Starr
“Sleigh Ride” The Ronettes
“Little Drummer Boy” Bing Crosby & David Bowie
“If I Can Dream” Elvis Presley

I realize that last one might be controversial, but it was the closing number to Elvis's '68 Comeback Special, originally a Christmas special. And it's easily one of the high points in his catalogue from that era.

Feel free to bitch, name-call, debate, or otherwise attempt to ruin my love of Christmas music. It'll never happen. (One absolute I am sure of.)

PS: As usual, that Pogues song can fuck right off. And I avoid that Tom Waits song because I prefer not to spend Christmas contemplating whether or not to pull the trigger.