Urinational

Bathrooms fascinate me.

Bathrooms frustrate me.

As a dude, I'm particularly interested in urinals. I could talk for hours just about urinals alone.

There's the privacy issue: some have dividers, others are really close together, some are even just an entire wall and you have to jockey for your spot at the trough.

The sanitary issue: some cause a ridiculous amount of spray, others take a little time until you find the sweet spot that doesn't cause any spray at all.

Technique: Do you aim for the cake, try for a cascading arc against the back, or shoot for the loudest noise the impact in the water will make?

And then there's etiquette to consider. Personally, I don't want anybody talking to me while I'm doing my biznuss--I already feel dehumanized enough essentially having to piss on a wall in public. Some people have their best conversations while up against it.

Of course, everybody has a funny public bathroom story to tell. Like the time a guy walked up to the urinal next to me, unzipped, shivered and said, "Damn, that water's cold!" Who knew there was urinal schtick?!

This is just a salty taste of my thoughts on the subject. More later.